The third of four I's: Intention
Opening our hands and letting the tight grip go.
In this series on finding our path, we began by looking at intuition setting the stage for invitation.1 We considered how, with one’s internal navigation tools properly attuned, we open up the ability to receive and discern opportunities for participation in callings. And, in that, I shared my belief that we are able to respond in ways that may deepen our relationship to the world around (and within) us. The response we give, be it yes or no (…or a simple pause), is the foundation of aligning ourselves to our chosen path through intention. Intention being the bridge from simple response toward active participation. I believe that how we “begin” is determined by how we first set our minds and hearts. That is the power of intention.2
Recently, I shared a tender conversation with a talented friend about the beauty and heartbreak of striving in the creative life, as we live in that strange disconnect of one’s output not meeting their tastes (and high standards). I have felt that again and again when I try to create. My imagination and my practice feel so separate. On the one hand, there is the beauty of a search to meet my desires that pushes me onward to create. Yet, on the other hand, there is the devastation of never truly arriving to where I long to be.3 We reach and stretch and pull and push to touch the stars in the great sky above, imagining the warmth and tingle just beyond our fingers yet alway outside our grasp. We feel our hearts pang in longing and bodies expand in each little stretch. And, in that, we are left with a choice: do we feel the cold despair of the deep, dark space between the stars and us…or do we recognize the magic of the world which frames those far away stars and holds us so lovingly? That is to say: do we feel the pain of our failed expectations or celebrate the beauty of living in our intentions?
A lesson that I received years back, and returned to me many times over, is around how to distinguish (and appreciate) intentions from expectations. I believe that intentions are held with an open hand that gives freedom, while still creating hope. And, expectations are gripped with a closed fist that limits possibilities, while often harming belief in self. I used to buy into the popular idiom, “hope for the best; expect the worst.” I appreciated that it implied a pragmatic tension between aspiration and preparation. But at its heart, if truly practiced, those words are about a firm grip being clasped around pessimism. They no longer ring true to me. Expectations constrict breath and limit capacity to change our fluid relationship to the world around us. They are heavy ships with slow moving rudders, giving little room to navigate the rocky terrains of life. When I expect, I assume. When I assume, I leave the present self behind and live in a projected version of another potential (one which may never be). I know that this sounds dramatic, but I believe this is what is taking place in the subtlety of our hearts and depths of our mind. However, with intention, that grip is released and our hopes flow forward while we remain in the here and now. We place our dreams and aspirations into a wide open palm and say, “This is what I envision and give life to, while I know it may change, fly away, return anew, or stay exactly as is.” That openhandedness breathes life into our desires and lets them flow as they are meant to be. The ship becomes light and nimble, as it moves with the waters and winds through the mysterious terrains above and below, into wide and open waters beyond. Our hearts and minds find opportunity and life through our intentions.
That is not to say that intentions are unmoored or floating at the whims of the winds and waves either. For me, that would be simply holding no dreams at all, open handed or closed. Drifting about with no ship to sail upon. Intentions still ground us into a reality that includes our full and authentic self. Intentions take a piece of driftwood and form it into a canoe; they take a simple raft and build it up into a deft sailboat; they matter deeply and they give us power to not only follow the waters but to navigate with a sense of sovereignty and control (such that we may enjoy the ride and safely persevere when the rapids or tides turn rough). Intentions protect just as much as they free. When we set them, we say, “This is my desire. I accept it may change but I am committing myself to be authentically aligned with this hope as I move into an undefined path. I am open to adapt while I remain grounded in who I am.”
As this brief series looks at practices for finding our path, we move through the process of trusting our true self, which aids us in feeling into calling and desires for a heartfelt response, which then give us opportunity to set our hopes in authenticity toward the path ahead (intuition, invitation, and intention).4 The path is clearing before us and we have determined our willingness to participate, which means the adventure awaits a first step to begin (initiation)—the ceremonies and rituals of life that bring us into our intentions. I am keeping it short this round but I do have an intention (held with an open hand) to return to this topic more fully in a future piece, as I have some helpful tips and practices that aid me in forming my intentions and bringing them forth in my own life. But for now, I want to sit with the freedom of letting go of expectations and embracing desire through intention. Opening up our sails and moving with the wind in our well crafted ships of self. May we all enjoy that freedom and potential.
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Following the breadcrumbs…
PODCAST: Annie Baker (on Talk Easy). There are quite a few moments in this interview that have stuck with me. I was so moved by certain points of the conversation. I have not seen any of her plays nor the new film; I am quite inspired to do so now.
SUBSTACK: Bridging the Endless Taste Gap (from Creative Fuel with Anna Brones). This piece touches into quite a bit about that longing which I spoke of. I really appreciate how the writing (and drawings) frames up much of the dynamic and challenge that comes with wanting to be able to create in a way that you cannot quite achieve. And, I loved the exploration of the journey that follows as you grow closer (and further) in the capacity to do so.
PRACTICE: 25-day Sugar Cleanse with Pure Roots Nutrition. Starting on July 17th! I cannot recommend working with Shelly (owner of Pure Roots Nutrition) enough as part of your wellness journey. I have done this guided sugar cleanse before and learned so much about my body in doing so. Very worthwhile and helpful experience for me.
Last week, I framed invitation as a calling which we receive; however, I did not give much reflection about creating invitations. I do think it is important to additionally emphasize that some sacred callings come from our own abundance and generosity. We can be the source of invitations, not just the recipient. I think that can be empowering to remember too.
I believe that intentions can also be dynamic. When I talk about setting them, I do not mean that they are not commitments carved in stone for all of time. Rather, they are the energy which we ground ourselves into and they shape us while we hold to them. I tend toward thinking that such energy is both dynamic and alive as long as we honor it. It grows and changes with us, as we draw close to our intentions and hold them with open hands.
It took me a lot of retrospection to acknowledge this inability to create at the level of my creative standards (either through lack of developed talent or lack of drive to endure getting there) is actually a big part of why I left behind filmmaking. And, this has also been a blocker that prevents me from starting many things that float in my dreams and imagination. I feel a bit sad when I acknowledge that…but it is helpful to do so. Because, as I explore that fear and disappointment that has often stopped me, I can learn how to push beyond (or through) it too. I can learn how to focus on my joy in the process and moving away from the results (or allowing the imagination to meet the results in a more gracious and connected way).
At one point when crafting and solidifying the concept of “The Four I’s,” I considered how intention may come prior to invitation. I thought about this with the notion that I would set forth my desire and then await a sacred invitation in response. And, I could see how that may be true in a certain framework of manifesting. Yet, what I am exploring in this process is how the invitation often comes first (almost always for me). That desire, which one acknowledges prior to setting their intention, is in fact a form of invitation. The sacred moves in our longings and alignments. And, in the process of exploring our paths in life, I find this subtle shift of perspective can be helpful.